Thank You for the Experience Is Indeed True Forgiveness.

This fTrue Forgiveness is saying thank youamous quote from Oprah Winfrey on Forgiveness, "True forgiveness is when you can say, thank you for that experience." never really resonated with me.

I didn't deny it but it just hadn't been my experience until I starting digging deep in my forgiveness journey. What led me to this is seeing every experience as a gift. Not easy, I know. It is something I still struggle with. The fact that I've experienced it more than once makes it easier to get to. I've learned that it is easier fro me to forgive and it is indeed true forgiveness when I can see what I learned from this experience.

The Experience I'm thankful for with my mom

Recently, I published my own cookbook, which is an e-book and at first I wasn't planning on selling it on Amazon as it was just a small project that came to mind. I love cooking and am really into clean eating and wellness, and people constantly ask for my recipes when I share photos of my food on social media and also when they've had it. That's how it started and I recall when I shared my plans with my parents, they were like, what do you mean you're going to write a cookbook???? While they were supportive after that comment, it appears they were wary if I was qualified enough to write a cookbook. It bothered me but I moved on with my plans. I'm a perfectionist who is still in recovery so this wasn't an easy task but I did finished and published the book.

A few days after the book was published on Amazon, I offered a copy to my parents. When my mom started reviewing it, she called me to ask me a few questions about a recipe and made some comments about some ways I had written some things and the format I used in a recipe. She said: "You need to fix it before you publish it. I know people who are saying they want to get it. You cannot sell it like that." I was hurt and didn't say much before I hung up the phone with her. I was upset that night and started panicking for a moment as the book was already published. I reached out to a friend and fellow entrepreneur and she was very supportive and understanding of how I felt. While a part of me didn't see the big deal in what she was saying, the perfectionist in me started its rant.

I went to bed thinking one more thing I need to add to my forgiveness journey as I was getting ready to lead one in a few weeks.  I needed to forgive my mom for not acknowledging my work and going straight into criticism. I prayed and meditated before falling asleep and the next day I woke up feeling better and thought about how my perfectionism had come from my childhood. My parents' standards for me are high and I grew up thinking I cannot mess up on anything, I have to be perfect, everything I do needs to be perfect. I then understood where my mom was coming from and this was passed on to her as well from her own childhood.

Thank you to my mom!

Once I got that, I chose to let go of the perfectionist side of me and not allow it to diminish my excitement for my accomplishment. I was more determined to market my cookbook and move forward with my other projects. I also realized that I didn't have to forgive her as I already did as I thank her for that experience. I spoke to a friend and she told me that while publishing the book is an accomplishment, it was more about who I became in the process. Indeed, I was able to let go of my perfectionism and let things be, and for this I thank my mom for this experience. The next time I spoke to her and told her the book was published as she read it, she made light of it and we continued talking about other things.

Thank you to my ex-partner!

For a long time I thought I was ready for a romantic/committed relationship and always thought the guys I was attracting weren't, were the ones with the issues.....But it wasn't until the end of a relationship that I started doing some inner work. I got that I was myself afraid of having a relationship. I wasn't ready, willing to put in the work, and they were just showing me a part of me that I wasn't conscious of. And for that I'm thankful because it pushed me to start working on clearing my own blocks to love and doing my own work.

I also learned from a prior relationship that I needed to trust my intuition as the signs were there that this person couldn't be trusted and I ignored them. I take responsibility for this and am thankful for the experience, as painful as it was it because it thought me to listen to my intuition.

Tweetable:It is easier for me to forgive when I am thankful for the experience. That's true forgiveness indeed.

Dig deep, do the work to find your blessings.

If you are willing to dig deep, see the darkness in you, allow yourself to be cracked open in order to bring in the light, you will then thank your ex-partners and other people in your life for the experiences they brought into your life. As I was reminded during my own relationship coaching, every relationship prepares you for the next one.

People who come into your life no matter how long they remain come to teach you something. I know many times, it's hard to get that but once you can move past the hurt and pain and really ask yourself, what is this here to teach me? You will learn the lessons, receive the blessings, and thank them. Even if you choose not to tell them in person, you can be thankful for what you learned as it will allow you to grow.

Every experience in our lives is made for us to learn, grow, and love more.

I want you to think about someone you are willing to forgive even if the experience was a painful or a situation in your life that is unresolved, ask yourself this question: What is this here to teach me?

I learned something from Author, Neale Donald Walsh when he said in one of his messages from God, to not ask why but ask what. Often we ask why did this happen? or why is this happening? I invite you to start asking yourself: what is this here to teach me? or what do I need to learn from this? Borrowing this line from I believe it was Oprah on her Oprah, The Life You Want Tour or one of her collaborators who said: "Life is always speaking to you." It's the truth, let's to our best to always remember this and asked life what is it telling us.

Life loves you, trust and know that you will be answered.

I'd love to hear from you, please share your own experience getting to thank you for the experience in your own forgiveness journey or share your own journey with me in the comments section.

If this stirred something in you that you'd like to explore on a deeper level, please click here to schedule a complimentary discovery session with me.

If you found this helpful please give it a share in order for others to benefit from it as well, thank you.

Love and light!

 

 

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Forgiving A Tough One…..

Forgiving A Tough One

Forgiving some acts is really tough.....

This blog post is very personal and in it I share the activist part of me. And it is a part of me that I fully embrace and that will always be with me. I'll admit that in my spiritual journey there have been times when I asked if the two can go hand and hand. I'm convinced and know they can and that's the path I've chosen for myself.

I wouldn't be my authentic self if I didn't write and share this with you today. Something has been consuming me these past few days. I thought sharing it with you is important especially as many of us are going to embark on a 21-Day Forgiveness journey in less than 3 weeks and I'm inviting others to join us.

How do you forgive hateful acts, still speak the truth and stand up for justice?

As you know I'm Haitian American and Haiti is very important to me. Not sure if you heard the news this past weekend one of Haiti's dictators, Jean-Claude Duvalier aka Baby Doc had passed due to a heart attack. He was in power for 15 years following his dad's time in power. The Duvaliers govern Haiti for 29 years and under their rule thousands of Haitians were murdered, tortured, and many left the country in fear for their lives. Jean-Claude Duvalier was also accused of stealing lots of money from the country. It is well known, yet he was never been brought to justice. In 2011 when he went back to Haiti after living in exile for 25 years, there were charges brought against him but they lead to nowhere up until his death this past weekend. Haiti's current conditions are largely due to the Duvalier regimes' legacy.

When I heard of his passing, I thought he's a human being with loved ones like everyone, may he rest in peace. After seeing people sharing about their loved ones who had been victims of the Duvalier years and thinking about all that had happened under his regime, I felt sad for the victims, their loved ones, and Haiti. I grew up in Haiti during part of his reign and remember really well how it was, yes it was more stable (the case in most dictatorships), streets were cleaner and the Haitian dollar was equivalent to the U.S. dollar. Some will say the economy was booming but only for a few. And I would hear things here and there about the vicious acts as people couldn't speak openly about politics. It wasn't until close to his departure from Haiti that I started hearing more and as the uprising that led to his departure spread throughout the country. I also read a book called Fort-Dimanche, Fort-La-Mort which is about the most famous prison/torture place in Haiti during the Duvalier time. Today Haiti's population is mostly 20 years old or under so they don't know about the Duvalier regime unless they were told by family members and history books stopped when François Duvalier, Jean Claude Duvalier's father died after he declared himself president for life and his son took over power at the age of 19 years old.

2 days ago I got the news that the current Haitian government had chosen to give Mr. Duvalier a national funeral. I'll admit I got really upset and am hurt. I felt ashamed of Haiti for the first time in my life. First he was allowed back in the country, not punished by the law, and now he gets a national funeral like any other president....really????

I practice and encourage others to practice forgiveness and I've been asking myself am I being forgiving here? After much thought and a friend even reached out to me asking if I thought I was being forgiving in this case. I'll say I am because I believe like any human being he deserves to be buried and may he rest in peace. And speaking my truth and standing up for justice isn't being unforgiving. Haiti has a history of people telling others to not talk, only talk about your personal stuff; it's the past and let it go. I believe in letting things go and not allowing my past to haunt me. Haitians need to move on and let go, yes but it can only happen when people feel heard, when their emotions and feelings have been acknowledged, and those who have committed the crimes respond to the accusations.  The Haitian government's decision to have national funeral for a former dictator is a slap to the victims, their loved ones, and the country as a whole.

Haiti cannot truly move forward if it keeps going down this path. Some say we must turn the page, I agree but we can only do it by acknowledging our past and making amends.

If we deny our past, we will only repeat it. In the forgiveness process, it is important to become aware of what happened, our own role in it, take responsibility, learn, and move forward. This is a painful process but growth and transformation many times involves pain and it is only temporary. It will last longer when it isn't dealt with it.

As a coach, I meet my clients where they're at. When people are hurt I remind myself that they want to be validated, know their voices are being heard and they matter. When we dismiss people and history, it makes moving forward harder and sets the tone to keep going just like before.  In my own forgiveness process that's what I've done.

Jean-Claude Duvalier is one man and while these acts were committed under his rule, he's dead now, cannot stand trial for them, and he didn't personally commit them. Who else were involved and how do we move forward to grant justice to the victims of their families and get to forgiveness?

This isn't about one man. This is about a nation, a people that needs to come together, to talk, grieve, take responsibility, and heal together. As long as we keep denying what happened, tell people to move on, and dismiss history without taking responsibility; we'll keep getting the same results.

I want you to think about a situation in your life where it's really hard to forgive and think about what would make it easier for you to move on and let go. What do you really want out of this situation and what steps can you take to move past this?

Tweetable:Let's remember that forgiving isn't pretending it never happened.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this, what came up for you? And please share your own journey forgiving a tough act in the comments section below.

If you enjoyed this, please share it on social media and if it sparked something in you that you want to explore on a deeper level, I invite you to schedule a complimentary discovery session with me by clicking here.

Sending love and light to Haiti and the world!

P.S. Join me on October 27, 2014 for a 21-Day Forgiveness Journey. In this journey, each morning you will get an e-mail from me where I will share empowering tools in the forms of meditations, videos, and blog posts that will help you in your journey. To join, simply subscribe to my e-mail list by adding your name and e-mail below. I look forward to having you in this journey with me and please ask family and friends to join you in this journey as well. Let's end 2014 and start 2015 with a clean heart!

 

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4 Things I’ve Learned About My Life Purpose

ILife Purpose Blog Post Pic believe we all have a life purpose that only we can fulfill it the way we can. And when we’re fulfilling our purpose, we feel great and it has a positive impact on the world. I found out exactly how I was going to fulfill my life purpose when after working with a career coach I took a major leap almost 2 years ago (this coming September 7, 2014 will make it officially 2 years) and left my regular 9-5 job to start my own business.

It has been quite a journey and I’ve learned many things.

Four things I’ve learned from my life purpose:

1. It’s not something I’m only passionate about; I’m committed to it.

I’ve always been passionate about making a difference for people and the world but I wasn’t sure how it fit into my purpose. When I chose to become a life coach, I realized that coaching was already within me as it was natural for me. Empowering others to create and have a life and career they love is very important for me.

I’ve learned that while I’m passionate about many things, I’m not committed to doing whatever it takes in everything. I recently stopped teaching Zumba on a regular basis and while it’s something I really enjoy and miss, the fact that I was able to walk away from it is proof that I wasn’t committed to it. I wasn’t committed to making Zumba videos and promoting myself as a Zumba instructor.

I see myself coaching for life as I’m committed to it and choose it as one of the ways to fulfill my purpose.

What are you truly committed to?

2. It’s not easy and giving up isn’t an option.

This is has been the most challenging journey in my life thus far yet I know my purpose is bigger than my challenges. Whenever I’m faced with obstacles, uncertainties, and fear around how I’m going to take care of myself and not seeing fruits of my labor; I face them. I might take a moment and walk away for a bit.

However, I always go back because of my “why”. My reason why is my belief that this is my way to contribute to humanity and I love what I do.

Think of a goal in your life that no matter what challenges you face, you’ll never give up and why.

3. I was born for this and it’s not about me.

Empowering, inspiring, and motivating people come naturally for me. And it’s how I choose to show up in the world and not when I’m coaching only. Whenever I’m with someone, that’s exactly what I do, it’s who I am and my vision for myself. When I’m fulfilling my purpose; I am my true self, feel great, comfortable and at ease.

I might get scared for a moment before getting in front of people or a new client but after a few seconds, all the nervousness goes away as it’s not about me, it’s about those I am called to serve. Even when I’m not coaching people, I’ve had people tell me that I inspired and motivated them to take action.

What comes naturally for you that you are already doing and people are thanking you for?

4. I now understand why I went through my past challenges.

Prior to taking my entrepreneurial route, I had reached a familiar point in my career where I was unhappy and unfulfilled.  While I’ve felt that way in the past; this time I had to listen to the signs as I started getting sick and the way I felt about my job and myself started to impact all other areas of my life. I felt stuck, frustrated, unhappy and scared.

It got really dark for a while. I faced horrible situations at work, was overworked, wasn’t appreciated and didn’t get a position I wanted. I kept wondering why this was happening.

I knew I was here to do more but I didn’t know what it was and how to go about doing it. I now understand that I was on a path that wasn’t meant for me. Now when I talk to people and hear what they’re going through, I can relate as I’ve been in their shoes and I can help them get to the other side.

I can show them compassion and be supportive of their journey.

What challenges have you faced in the past and can you see now how they’ve served you?

This journey has been the most challenging, transformative, and rewarding journey in my life thus far and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

If you haven’t found your life purpose; don’t worry and know it will find you soon enough. Just keep exploring things you’re passionate about, are committed to and don’t settle. Listen to that inner voice that tells you what you’re meant to do. You know you’re here to do more, keep moving forward and trust. And don’t ignore the signs being sent to you by the universe, you’ll know once you’ve found it.

Tweetable:Fulfilling your life purpose isn’t easy but it is totally worth it!

Are you currently fulfilling your life purpose or exploring it, please share your experience and thoughts with me thanks! If you enjoyed this and found it helpful, please give it a share.

If this sparked something in you that you would like to explore on a deeper level, I invite you to schedule a discovery session with me by clicking here. I get really excited helping people explore their life purpose and I would love to join you on your journey.

P.S. If you want to explore your life purpose, provide your name and e-mail below and you'll receive my 8 Life Purpose Access Tips in your inbox and it's FREE!

The world needs your unique light!

Love and light!

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Why Is Forgiveness Important?

Forgiveness offers me everything I want

Forgiveness is important to living the life you truly desire.

I’ve always been an easy going kind of person and thought forgiveness wasn't hard for me until I got older and life got more complicated. I hadn’t realized how much resentment and grudges I was holding against people especially myself. Through my spiritual practice I became more aware and learned that forgiveness is the key to having everything I want in life.

If you want to fully experience love, peace, joy, and freedom in your life; you want to practice forgiveness. My active forgiveness journey didn’t truly begin until late last year and has been an on-going one. It became clear to me that in order to live the life I truly desired, I needed to forgive everyone for everything. Borrowing these last few words from author and spiritual life coach, Iyanla Vanzant’s book, 21 Days to Forgive Everyone for Everyone.

This book has been a powerful tool in my forgiveness journey.

3 major things I’ve learned in my forgiveness journey

1.  The first, most important and hardest person to forgive is you. Everything begins with us, just like until you can truly accept and love yourself, you cannot do the same for another and same goes with forgiveness. I have found that the hardest it is for me to forgive someone, there’s something about me that I haven’t truly forgiven. Once I had a friend who lied to me and when I look back at our interactions, the signs and red flags were there that he couldn't be trusted. I found it hard to forgive him as huge part of me blamed myself for trusting him in the first place and not listening to my instinct. Most of the time, you also have a part in what happened and until you can truly forgive yourself, you cannot truly forgive another.

2. Forgiveness sets you free. It is a liberating, joyous and loving feeling that allows anything to be possible. It provides a clean slate for you and whoever you’ve forgiven. I've experienced that when I hold grievances against someone; I’m not free and am their prisoner or a prisoner of the situation. And our relationship is strained and doesn't grow. When I forgive, I let go and free myself and them of the grievances. I experienced this with someone I was holding a grudge against and after praying, meditating, using Emotional Freedom Technique Tapping and doing the work to forgive, our relationship was renewed.

You can also forgive and not renew the relationship. It’s really about forgiving, letting go of the grievances, pain, and no longer feeling upset about what happened and them.

3. Forgiveness is indeed the highest form of love. I've heard and read that forgiveness is the highest form of love but it's another thing to experience it. I couldn't agree more with that statement. As someone who believes that God is love and all his creatures are as well, I cannot think of a greatest expression of love than to forgive yourself and the people in your life. As a student of A Course In Miracles, I've learned that forgiveness is my function as the light of the world and my brother deserves forgiveness just as much as I do. I've gotten that when I forgive; I not only release myself from the past, I release my brother as well.

Tweetable:Forgiveness isn't easy yet it is the key to truly living the life you desire.

I'm always reminded of an episode of Oprah Winfrey's show, Super Soul Sunday with my biggest spiritual teacher, Marianne Williamson. In the show, Marianne says whenever you feel something or things aren't going right for you, ask yourself: "Who have I not forgiven?" This is so true and one of the reasons why I chose to study A Course In Miracles and stay the course and deepen my forgiveness journey is because I want to be free to allow the life I desire to flow to me and share my love and light with everyone.

I'm inviting you to consider who is it that you haven't forgiven? How has been your forgiveness journey?

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this; did anything come up for you? Please share some of your own forgiveness journey experiences with me in the comments section below.

If this stirred something in you that you'd like to explore on a deeper level, I invite you to schedule a complimentary discovery session with me by clicking here.

If you enjoyed this and found it help, please give it a share thank you!

Love and light!

P.S. I'll be having a 21-Day Forgiveness Journey that will begin on October 27, 2014 and I'd love for you to join me. Please enter your name and e-mail address in the bottom of this post to join me and you'll also receive my 8 Life Purpose Access Tips and my weekly tips and inspiration in your inbox. It's all FREE!

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Are You “Shoulding” On Yourself”?

How ofAre You Shoulding on Yourself?ten during the day do you notice that you're shoulding on yourself?

The word "should" is a word I believe needs to be banned from our vocabulary. I didn't always feel this way until over a year ago. I can't recall exactly what happened and who I was talking to when I realized the impact it has on me and others.

Whenever I find myself about to "should" on myself or someone else, I choose a different word. When I speak to others and they start shoulding on me, I actually have to make an effort to keep listening to them as once I hear "should", they've lost me! I've actually told people who have used this word with me my thoughts on it.  I used to and at times still catch myself shoulding on me and it doesn't feel good.

Here are 3 things I've gotten that made me chose to stop shoulding on myself:

1. Using the word "should" doesn't give much options or choices.

It's either this or it won't work out. Whenever I find myself shoulding on me, I get that I'm saying that I don't have a choice. In life we have choices; yes there are particular behaviors and actions that will lead to a desired outcome. However, I have many choices. I remember thinking once, I "should" exercise if I want to be healthy and I would feel bad for not going to the gym and not doing any physical activity. Once I got clear that I had a choice and I'm choosing to do physical activities I love in order to remain healthy, I felt better. When you choose freely, it feels good and you tend to follow through.

2. The body knows and sends messages

I noticed that whenever I was shoulding on myself or allowed someone to should on me, it didn't feel good in my body. I would feel a tightness in an area in my body. Your body knows and sends you messages all the time. Pay attention the next time you start shouding on yourself, listen to the message your body is sending and notice how you feel.

3. When I should on myself, I'm imposing something and/or blaming and judging myself

Whenever I say I should have done this or that; I'm blaming myself, it doesn't feel good and nothing good comes out of it. If anything it keeps me from moving forward and taking action toward my desired goal. I recall coaching someone who wanted to lose weight and wanted to have a regular workout routine. She kept saying "I should work out every day". I stopped her and said, how does it make you feel when you say this? and she said it didn't make her feel good and it felt like working out was an obligation. She told me that when she didn't work out every day, she started blaming and judging herself for not doing so. And she would stop since she was caught in the blaming and judging herself cycle.

Choose empowering and feel good words

I'm actually still amazed when I hear people in the self-empowerment world use the word "should" as it really makes you think and feel like you have no other choices when you do. Once someone told me: "But I should work because I need to pay my bills and make a living." I told her yes, it's about changing your words, how about "I choose to work because I want to take care of myself and fulfill my responsibilities." It's about choosing words that empower you and make you feel good.

Become aware and choose kindness and love

This brings me to the shoulding on others part. This is another thing I've really taken. And like everything else it always begins with the self. Once you stop shoulding on yourself, you'll stop shoulding on others as well. It starts with becoming aware when you're doing it and choosing another word. In the beginning, it will be hard I know because you are used to using that word. And if you notice that you're using it, don't beat yourself up as it won't help.

Tweetable: Transformation begins with awareness. Taking steps to stop shoulding on yourself is being kind to you.

I'm still practicing and find myself using it from time to time but I'm becoming more aware of it and you will too. I hope you'll choose to be kind and loving toward yourself as you will extend those same feelings unto others as well. With baby steps we'll stop shoulding on ourselves and each other.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. Did anything come up for you? Did you or will you listen to your body the next time you "should" on yourself?  Please let me know in the comments section and please do share your own experiences shoulding on yourself, thank you!

If you enjoyed this and found it help, please share it on social media and your other networks thank you!

If this stirred something in you that you would like to explore on a deeper level, I invite to schedule a complimentary discovery session with me by clicking here.

Love and light!

 

 

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